Greetings from the tundra.
It hasn’t been over 32 DEGREES ONCE THIS MONTH. Do you know what that is like? It’s like sitting in your freezer with a towel on for weeks on end. I used to never wear gloves because it wasn’t cool… my gloves are my freaking best friend currently. I left them at home one day and literally almost cried.
Living in Syracuse is tough. We get all 4 season. The Frozen-esk season, the flooding season, the “it’s hotter than a grass skirt in a forrest fire” season, and the too many leaves on the ground season. BUT it’s fun.
Well, this winter has been the one from HELL. I guess I can’t say the entire winter.. the last month really. Since that damn hedgehog/groundhog thing saw it’s shadow. Here are 10 SOLID reasons why this winter sucks
10. You want to put everything you own on at once
9. No snow days
I swear there needs to be snow days for corporate america. New York & Maryland & every other freaking city SHUTS DOWN when there is snow in the forecast. In Syracuse we drive to work in real scenes from The Day After Tomorrow.
8. The chances of getting killed by falling ice increases by 4000%
Ice is a dangerous thing. You should see the built up ice on the side of John’s house! It looks like a 6 foot ice sculpture people pay hundreds of dollars for. Beware of falling ice, I would really hate to go out that way.
7. You’re pale as F**K
I’m telling you right now, part of my skin has not seen sun since probably October. My eyeballs have forgot what the sun actually looks like. Debating about doing some self tan but that requires work.
6. Your skin looks like a shedding snow globe
Lotion is your best friend. Your skin get so dry it’s unreal. Thankfully I’m not the one where my skin legit breaks and bleeds or the one who has insane dandruff. I feel for those people.
5. Your car permanently has snow stuck everywhere
You have no idea what it is like to have to brush off your car when you’re late for work. The amount of snow we have gotten recently turns this decent task into a freaking olympic timed event.
4. People forget how to drive and park
Okay it’s snowing, it’s safe to take your time BUT MOVE TO THE RIGHT LANE THAN. Don’t even get me started on parking lots. Are we really all that freaking stupid that we can’t park our cars without out pre-drawn lines?!?! People.
3. ZERO motivation to workout or eat healthy
No one wants to be this chick. When it’s 18 degrees out and you haven’t seen grass in months the last thing you want to eat is fruit or a salad. You want a juicy, fatting, make me feel warm burger or the most expensive U pick 2 meal from Panera. And working out just seems like a lost cause.
2. The brown mushy stuff
There are 3 things in life I hate. 1. Ketchup 2. Zits 3. BROWN MUSHY SNOW. You could be driving a hum-vee and you’ll still spin out. Try shoveling it? NOPE 80% chance you’ll pull a muscle in your back or tear your rotator cuff. DIE BROWN SNOW DIE!
1. Your expensive boots are RUINED
Jon Snow says it all. There are no words for the disgusting abuse your shoes have gone through. Uggs? somewhat wet forever. Boots? salt stained forever. Actually snow boots? wet forever and smell like death forever. Don’t even dare to try and wear your cute booties because you will either fall to your death or water log them. Oh, and if you want to get legit snow boots be ready to cough up 300 doll hairs.
Well, I hope you can all agree to my 10 complaints. I am mostly upset about the abuse to my shoes because that results in actual money. Everything else just effects my feelings (that matters too). The current snow total for the Cuse is 98 inches. That is 8 feet. Practically twice my height.
Stay safe out there people. They say spring is on the horizon.